How to rule the world with a single Arduino

Ok, the hell with bambies and butterflies and such. Let’s get into something really dangerous… and not in a “Top Gear Blowing Up a Car” dangerous, but really serious 3rd-Reich level fucking-up-reality dangerous.

First you need to watch this, to learn who Edgar Cayce was.

Edgar Cayce was the most powerful psychic in recorded history. He out-Nostradamused Nostradamus. He could predict the future, heal people over the telephone, tell people lottery numbers, go back in time and describe the life of Jesus… all that sort of thing.

What he’d do, is have a lie down… go into a bit of a mid-sleep state, then people would ask him questions and he’d talk out loud etc… with answers.

He reckoned he had access to some sort of Universal “pool” of knowledge, which pretty much anyone could access once they’d got the knack – he didn’t think he was special. There’ seemed to be vague rules attached – like he’d get headaches and such if the knowledge was used for selfish purposes, but Paracetamols have been invented since then, so fuck it.

I’m not entirely averse to this idea to be honest – we live in an 11-dimension universe… and there are lots of instances (eg: here in NZ, The Maori knowing the shape of NZ from driving a canoe round the outside)… people in “primitive” cultures having access to knowledge that they really ought not to have known… given the science of the day etc. The notion of “Information being non-local in space/time”, and space/time (as we know it) being a byproduct of the n-dimensional information rather than vice-versa.

I’m not big on mumbo jumbo from anything other than an artistic perspective (mumbo jumbo art is great)… but… you are, and you’re ambitious and irresponsible, so I’ll continue.

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So what you do is you get this here arduino-hacked EEG sensor

(via)

and you hook it up to your laptop when you’re sleeping.

This way you can measure your theta/alpha/beta/schmeta levels – and use them to trigger sound files on your computer… and record the response (if any) with a voice-activated recordy thing.

What you do then is home in on the Edgar-Cayce zone by asking yourself progressively more difficult… and then impossible questions in your sleep.

So

1) record the vocal “what is 1 + 1?” and trigger it at various brain-states during the night – eg: one for coming into Theta, one for 10 minutes in, one on leaving etc etc.

If you don’t get a response, the whole thing’s a failure. Go and stare disconsolately at the tumbling breakers for a bit. That what I normally do when I fail to take over the world.

2) If you do get a response…. try it again the next night, concentrating on the working brain-states. “What’s 5+7?”

3) If that works, try one which will involve extra-normal intelligence. eg: “what’s the square root of 12345?”

4) If you get that right, try something that’s accessing information that you can’t possibly know about, eg: “What is the first word on the 35th page of the biggest book in the cooking section in the local library?”

5) Then something from the future: “what’s the first word in the first article in the newspaper tomorrow?”

You get the idea. You win the lottery repeatedly then invent nuclear fusion. Or whatever. You live in a tower, and grow a beard and go among the people only in disguise.

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Before taking over the world though, there are two other questions you should ask

1) If there are reasons why I shouldn’t be doing this, what are they?

and

b) Where is this information coming from?

Because you don’t want to go painting yourself into any Faustian corners… although… you know… maybe it’s too late. Knowledge is not enough. It never was. Never was.

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If none of that works, here’s an invocation for Asmodeus, King of the 9 Hells, and Arc-Demonic Prince of Lust etc.

Go on, you know you want to. What could possibly go wrong? LOL