In the 21st Century, progress can also go sideways

Prince Philip

The man’s a god. Literally.

Back in the… mists of uncharted time, a cargo-cult formed around him in Vanuatu.

“In 1974 the British Royal family paid a visit to the then New Hebridies. While in the capital, Port Vila, Prince Philip is said to have handed a man from Tanna a symbolic white pig, and in doing so, stumbled into the ancient prophecy. Local man Thom Sia, who acts as English translator for the village elders, said his people were waiting patiently for Prince Philip’s return.” – from

Now obviously this is fantastic news to the Brits, to whom he is a national treasure. I mean the poor old Royal Family are basically pet people… they don’t really serve any particular purpose except to… open things. Stand about being ceremonial, and on their best behaviour – but (as anyone in Europe can tell you) it’s far more fitting with the national character to be on their very worst behaviour – that’s what we really want from a monarch… always have, and Prince Philip is a star. The hilarity of shocked embarrassment is deeply embedded in the national zeitgeist – always has been.

What ever Prince Philip does, he should do more of it – just so long has he never has any actual power… because we brits have had proper monarchy, and we didn’t really get on with it. This photo for example sends a bit of a chill up my spine

And technically…

… there was a thing in on TV here in New Zealand a couple of nights ago (and be aware, that as New Zealanders, we are not “citizens”, but “loyal subjects”)… where prince whatsisname… the new one, was helping fly a rescue helicopter back in England. The commentator said that after a period of training he could fly his own helicopter.

Errr… Excusez-moi? “My own helicopter?” Have you seen what it says on the side of these machines? Know what the “R” in RAF stands for? THEY’RE ALL MY FUCKING HELICOPTERS!!!

No – that would not do. Still National-Treasure

“He’s off the map” says Eddie… only he’s not, he’s on it (and bringing us neatly back to Do-Re-Mi)

The incredibly strange thing that is The Prince Philip Meme-plex has found it’s way from 20th Century stone-age cargo-cult, into more 21st Century form of homage – a mashup-map… of all the embarrassing things he’s said around the world. Not quite as impressive a cargo-cult, granted… and not (though it’s tempting to think so) History Repeating as Farce – partly because it was farce to start with, and there’s nowhere to go – except sideways… so sideways it goes. There’s life in the old god yet.

Still… Dieu et mon Droit, eh? eh?